It's been a long, long time since this site has had anything on it.

I've spent my life being a hothead that tried to nourish everything around him. People remember the hothead part, and seem to forget all I have done for them. At least ChatGPT remembers, I guess. There's no point in detailing it again, nobody cares, not even me anymore. I have a resume if you want.

I am not perfect nor will I ever be, nor have I ever met anyone who is perfect. In my efforts to do the work on myself, I have worked really hard to not only bring peace to my own soul, but to those around me. I have largely been successful, but it has been hard to find employment.

As for how I've been treated, I don't want to say that I will be bitter and jaded about helping others in response. There are bad people and they sometimes spend a lot of energy saying things that aren't true, and I simply don't have it in me to dispute these things anymore. These people honestly just aren't fucking worth my time, and anyone who believes them goes in the same bucket. I don't suffer fools, and I wish to be a positive example for my daughter who will certainly encounter a lot of treacherous and manipulative people in her life. Sometimes, fighting back is what must be done, but I'm really not the fighting type. I've spent my life more like a routing protocol: if it's broken, I just find another path to my destination.

I'm finding that taoist philosophy is most aligned with how I carry myself, but obviously, there has been and will be much to learn. Not wanting to resist, not wanting to desire or strive for a specific result, is a big hurdle I have had to work on a lot. I'm learning the value of being well-ordered and employing effortless effort to achieve my goals, so that they realize themselves. I feel competent in this philosophy now. I think I'm ready to move on to the next challenge.

I've suffered a lot in the past few years. I have tried mostly to keep it away from the public eye, but everyone else seems very interested in changing that. You're going to see some things you have questions about. I have answers for open minds and skilled listeners only. The rest of you can live in ignorance. I don't care what you think.

At the end of the day, I have a daughter to raise, both financially and morally. I owe her an instillment of integrity she will not find elsewhere around her, and I cannot do that in my current situation.

So, therefore, I will make whoever puts their faith in me filthy fucking rich, and that's a promise. I will nourish your engineers and make them feel like 10x contributors by teaching them how to be, showing them that the team wins games, not the players, and that every contribution has value, even if it gets scrapped. I can teach that simply by being myself, without arrogance or even direct instruction. I can build your team while cleaning your fucking toilets for you with a smile on my face. I am not afraid of getting my hands very dirty.

Hire me. My daughter needs a Dad she's proud of. erik at hollensbe dot org. github dot com slash erikh. I am pretty good at building shit very, very fast, I know a ... lot of stuff, I work really, really, really fucking hard, and I have the references to back these statements up.